December 2010
10 posts
1 tag
Teeth
Today that suspicion came back. You know the one. One of all the irrational unexplainable ones. The sneaky suspicion that my teeth aren’t mine. As every morning, when I have more time, today I took the time to inspect my smile, to see if there is anything that hasn’t been brushed out from the cracks. Upon carefull viewing the teeth seemed odd. They were quite normal teeth as always,...
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Holiday cruelty
For the past few couple of years I have noticed that my excitement over Christmas has been decreasing in an alarming rate. Perhaps it has something to do with starting university (exams just before or just after the holidays is a real mood killer), but from the long years that, as a child, I have been observing adults, I started believing that my lack of cheer may be due to the fact that...
This Cat
Is tired of being tired.
Bad descriptions II
Currently, I feel the need to describe a gripping emotion. Not a bad one this time, but a great one. A beautiful emotion in all of it’s lightness, joy, excitement and all. I would like to capture a moment of happiness in an enlightened, silent, calm observation. Describing every physical movement, touch, sight in objective, yet slightly personal detail. Every physical thing would hold inside...
Usefull feelings
I would love for this torture to give birth to some sort of creative energy.
Bad descriptions
The feeling of complete pure sadness portayed in novels as the feeling of a hole in your chest, a breaking heart, an emptiness inside has always seemed far fetched and quite unrealistic. But now I feel it. I feel it completely. My insides are gone, my heart aches and my skin burns. The skin burns and chills and pains me with memories of sad moments lived long ago. I feel tear prickling my eyes at...
Desperation
It’s me. It’s me! It’s me, not something else. The one that has potential. That has a chance at being happy. That’s worth something and is valued by others. I won’t let it change. I’m not gonna disappear. I’m gonna be me. I’m gonna let my shoulders down. I’m gonna find people. People like before. I need that, and I’m gonna get it!
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Short thought
The most remarkable thing about my current situation is that I don’t feel regret. Spending time with him. Going to sleep earlier. Asking important questions, but in such a way, that I wouldn’t get the wanted answer. I know that I couldn’t have done better. That would set my mind at ease, but it’s already there.